Dear Alistair Darling pt II

I wasn't being serious you mong

Oh very dear.

Dear Alistair Darling

Ali D, the man, the myth, the legend. I won't say much but the right honourable Alistair Darling MP, Chancellor of the Exchequer, is an economic godsend. Thank goodness in these times of economic crisis, we have a genius like Alistair involved.

It's simple! The key to restoring our crippled economy is quantitative easing. For those who don't know what that means, it's a very simple process that will fix everything! What you do is, you print more and more money.

This has proved effective in both Weimar:



And Zimbabwe too!



Look how bloody rich they are! I can't wait.

Dear Cobra Beer

I love Cobra beer. It's delicious.

Their adverts however, are my least favourite thing in the world, ever. Ranking even lower than people filing their nails and pesto grease.

The adverts, if you haven't seen them, are a bunch of middle-aged, pseudo-witty, scribbly little twats sitting around in a cartoon bar with their beers saying really fucking annoying things to each other, like so:



Sorry, that's just not funny, at all. I would be more inclined to drink Cobra if they used this,



and that's really saying something.

If I see any of these three in the street, I will brutally and savagely kill them.